….he will want a glass of milk!

If you decide to be handy and put up shelves in your wife’s garage laundry room…

….she will want you to paint the walls first

If you paint the walls first…

….she will decide that you might as well finish the floors

If you finish the floors…

….you will have to move everything out of the garage

If you move everything out of the garage…

….you might as well organize and clean it all before moving it back in

If you organize and clean it all…

 …she will decide you need to finally make the other bookshelf  for the living room (that matches the one you have had for 8 years)

 If you make the other bookshelf….

 …..she will decide she wants you to put it up even though it is 9pm

 If you put the bookshelf up in the living room…

 …you will make your wife EXTREMELY happy!

 Happy Wife….Happy Life!

 Have you had a “If you give a mouse a cookie”  (translated – “if your wife asks you to do….”) experience lately?

PS – For any out there who haven’t read If You Give a Mouse a Cookie – it is one of my all time favorite children’s books.

Just got this in my email inbox today (thanks Carrie!) and thought it was worth passing along to others -

Starting today, FamilyLife Ministry is challenging couples to “love like you mean it” by joining their 40-day Love Dare challenge. Based on the Love Dare book from the movie Fireproof, the challenge is a practical way for you to practice unconditional love and transform your marriage by applying simple, biblical principles to your everyday life.

Every day from January 5th to February 13th, they will give you a Love Dare for the day for you to put into practice and show love to your spouse. Then, at the end of the challenge, they encourage you to celebrate your spouse with a special Valentine’s Day date.

You can receive your daily Love Dare by – Registering at Familylife.com to receive your daily Love Dare via email each morning.

Let me encourage you to take advantage of this simple & easy way to improve your marriage – no matter what state it is in.  If you have a great marriage – it will make it the best!  If you have a good marriage – it will make it better.  If you are struggling in your marriage or perhaps even ready to call it quits – why not give it a try?

The bonus of getting it in your email inbox every morning is AWESOME.  What a great daily reminder to work at our marriages! I signed myself up and I signed up my husband (knowing that while his intentions would be good – he just might not ever get around to actually going to the website and signing up – love you sweetheart!). 

Todays Love Dare -

Resolve to say nothing negative about your spouse today.
Ephesians 4:2

Sunday June 15 was the “perfect Father’s Day”.

First let me say that anyone who feels “sorry” for my dear darling hubby because he has six daughters needs to think again. This man is one very pampered Dad! For weeks the girls have been planning and scheming and continuing to come up with more ideas to give their Daddy an excellent Father’s Day.

The day began as the two eldest walked through the door Sunday morning (they had been house sitting the night before) with his favorite Starbucks coffee and a newspaper in hand. They then proceeded to prepare his favorite breakfast of pancakes, eggs and sausage that we enjoyed on the back porch. (although he insisted on making the pancakes – saying no one makes them as good as Dad!)

During breakfast, he was surrounded by the lively chattering of all his girls (and Daniel threw in some boy noises for good measure) as well as several dear young ladies that he has been a father figure to who joined us for the days events. Before long it was time to pile into the van and head out of town to enjoy a day at the ball game where Dans favorite team (the Oakland A’s) would take on across the bay rivals the San Fransisco Giants.

We arrived at the beautiful ball park right on the Frisco Bay with plenty of time to enjoy a leisurelytailgate party with all the fixen’s – ribs, brats, corn on the cob, fresh fruit, chips and cookies. (and yes we both took the day off from the “healthy eating plan”!) The weather was simply gorgeous  – a light breeze blew through the sunny stadium that was a perfect70 degrees. We had great seats overlooking the Bay Bridge while watching the A’s beat the Giants in a 5-3 decision. We returned home to ice cream sundaes and a movie in the family room while we soaked our feet in warm water and applied moisturizer to our lightly sunburned skin. We all slept soundly after our fun filled day.

As I was reflecting on the “perfect day” I thought about how incredibly blessed my children are to have Dan Lambdin as their father. I hope and pray that each one of my daughters will find and choose such a man to be the father to their children. 

To my dear daughters (and those who are like my daughters),

Before long you will enter into a season of life where you will choose a man to marry.  Too often young ladies concentrate on things that are shallow and even trivial when they dream of the man they will someday marry.  The “short list” I hear from many a girl is that they want them to be handsome (or I believe the current term is “hot”), physically strong, funny, romantic and earn a good living (ie: be rich).  Let me assure you that those things are the least important attributes you can look for. I am sure many wise women out there who have “been there, done that” can attest to this truth.

When I hear women complaining about their husbands and their lack of help with or interest in the children, I can’t help but think -  that is what you chose!  At least here in America your marriage is not arranged or forced on you – no, you get to choose the man who will someday be the father to your children!

• Choose a man who likes babies.  Look for the one who is drawn to the little ones and who puts out his arms to hold them, who is comfortable with playing “peek-a-boo” and who is not too cool to change the tone of his voice and make goofy faces to make a connection with babies.
• Choose a man who is self sacrificing – who you see regularly denying his own desires and putting others before himself. (not only giving of his time, talent & treasure to help his family and friends but also volunteering and serving others without getting anything in return)
• Choose a man who speaks with the mindset that children are a blessing not a burden, a miracle not a mistake, an asset not an accident and a treasure not a taxing financial drain
• Choose a man who like Jesus says – “Let the little children come to me”
• Choose a man who is pro life – who has a heart and compassion for the unborn
• Choose a  man who believes that every child is created by God and who does not want to limit or miss out on the children that the Lord has to give him – whether by birth or adoption into his family
• Choose a man who loves the Lord with all his heart, soul, mind and strength

Choosing a husband, the future father of your children is the single most important decision you will ever make outside of choosing to serve the Lord.  Choose well.

Love,

Mom

…..all that remains is the marriage (ok the pictures too!).

Yesterday we attended the wedding of a young lady very dear to our hearts.  Vicki Botello came into our lives as a seventh grade student where Dan was the Principal.  She was a bright, vivacious junior higher who was filled with the love and joy of the Lord.  Her family life was a bit challenging and we quickly became a second family to her.  She was a well loved babysitter for the girls (when we met Vicki we only had three daughters and they were 5, 2 and 6 months) and a great competent helper for me.  She even followed us to Jim Elliot after we began the school and was in the second graduating class.  She is now a college graduate and is teaching junior high herself at a Christian school where she met a young man, Sean Watt, who also has a heart for the Lord and ministry.  They were married yesterday in a beautiful backyard ceremony (despite the record breaking heat wave). I dabbed my eyes several times throughout the ceremony as I remembered this sweet little 12 year old girl who was now a radiant and glowing bride, marrying the man of her dreams.

Vicki contacted us last fall asking Dan if he would officiate the ceremony.  Our enthusiastic response was “Of course!”. However, there is one thing that we require.  When Dan received is ministers licence 11 years ago he knew that since we worked primarily with teenagers and developed close relationships with many of them, that he would most likely often be asked to officiate at weddings.  At that time we decided that in order to properly prepare couples to have a life long marriage, they needed to spend some significant time in counseling.  After all the massive amount of time, energy and resources spent on the wedding (which is over in several hours), one should at least spend as much time in preparing for the actual marriage (which is suppose to last a lifetime).  Over the years we have developed a six month pre marital counseling program that consists of six meetings with us as a couple, reading several books, personality testing, homework assignments after each session to be completed individually and shared as a couple.  We also commit to praying for the couple and sharing with them our thoughts and ideas on how to have a successful marriage as well as any stumbling blocks or red flags that we see in their relationship. 

We talk about the basic Biblical foundation of marriage, personalities, love languages, communication skills, time management, finances, priorities, family relationships, paradigms about children, parenting, in-laws, roles of each spouse, expectations, sex and intimacy.  We also explore and look at questions that we think every couple should talk about before marriage:

• What will you do if something goes terribly wrong? (things like – a tragic life altering accident that leaves one alive but in a vegetative state, a chronic disease that severely impairs ones function, disfigurement due to an accident, disease or other tragedy)
•  What will you do if one of you succumbs to moral failure in areas like pornography, affairs, child molestation, going to adult bookstores or clubs?  
• How will you handle infertility, an unexpected pregnancy or having a child with a disorder, disease or disability?
• What is your paradigm on how to deal with aging parents who need care?
• How will you handle life if you experience financial devastation or lose everything?
• What will you do if your spouse walks away from their faith?
• What is your plan to “affair proof” your marriage? (we suggest things like never being alone with a member of the opposite sex, openly communicating temptations, having a accountability partner, being available for intimacy with your spouse – even if you don’t “feel” like it, keeping the romance alive in your marriage with date nights and romantic get-aways)

Of the dozens of couples we have done pre marital counseling with, there is only one couple who are no longer together.  In our society and culture that sees affairs and infidelity as “normal”, marriage as optional and divorce as acceptable, we truly believe that if more couples took the time to seriously prepare for a lifetime commitment and more ministers required it, we would see many more successful and happy life long marriages. Wouldn’t that be great for all of our lives, our families and our country?

Congratulations Vicki and Sean….may the Lord richly bless your marriage!