Oh what a beautiful girl!

I can’t believe that it has been seven weeks since I have posted anything on my blog!   It certainly hasn’t been –

• for lack of anything to say (this girl ALWAYS has something to say)
• and it hasn’t been because I am sitting around eating bon-bons (although I have been eating a bit too much these last few months & the clothes are getting tight….again. darn it!)
• or because I am sitting around watching TV (in fact there is no longer television available in my home – which is not really much different than before the big digital switch over,  since we only watched sports and an occasional Hallmark movie anyway).
• and no there are not any big JECHS events or fundraisers (although we did enjoy a reunion picnic in June), Creative Memories activities or homeschooling functions chasing me with deadlines at the moment.

Can I just call it “maternity leave”?  I took 12 weeks “off” with my first four babies (back when I had not yet decided that I needed to be an “at home Mommy”, whether we could afford it or not).  So a seven week break from blogging seems reasonable, after all there are 204 archived posts for everyone to read or re-read!

What have I been doing for seven weeks? I have been enjoying my sweet baby girl…immensly! 

FAQ

Is she a good baby?

She is practically perfect – and I am not just saying that.  When she fusses it is because she is hungry, tired or messy.  Other than that she is happy, happy, happy! She is really an easy baby. (and I have had HARD babies so I know the difference!)  But ya know….even if she was extremely fussy and hard, we would love and cherish her just the same…this just makes it more fun!

How is she adjusting?

This question always makes me laugh.  I want to look at her and say…”Christiana, how are you adjusting?”  She seems to have taken to us just fine.

How is she sleeping?

Ahhhh….the number one question every Mom & Dad of a newborn gets asked. (or a variation of it  – “Is she sleeping through the night?” or “Are you getting any sleep?”) First let me say that I can’t remember the last time I slept through the night since I began this mothering journey in 1989 (Well except for my annual anniversary get-away, CM conventions & incentive trips). I get woken up at least once after going to sleep by either a fussy two year old, a six year old having a bad dream or telling me they are using the bathroom, a sick child, a coughing child, a teenager with a question, a late night phone call, giggling girls having a slumber party or an all night study session. Oh and then there’s the 63 months (over 5 years) I spent gestating in which I am up with bladder issues, heartburn, nausea, back aches or just plain being TOO large to sleep.  So does it really matter if she is sleeping through the night?  Nah…not really. Besides someday I will enter into my eternal rest…right?

But I digress….to answer the question. She usually sleeps for 10-12 hours at night, only waking up for one bottle at 2 or 3am. She drinks the bottle, burbs, smiles with her big beautiful smile and goes back to sleep.

How is Daniel doing with not being the “baby”?

He loves being a big brother.  He kisses her feet each morning and says “My baby”. He really does adore her.  It is so neat to watch the protective big brother come out in him.

Actually the only child of mine that ever had a problem with a new baby was the #1 child who after having her little sister for less than a week said – “When are we going to take her back to the hospital?”

I think one of the bonuses of having a large family is that no one ever feels displaced when a new baby arrives…since they were never the center of the universe to begin with.

Is she yours?

Yes! I  am the proud Mamma!

What are people’s reactions to her?

 Oh my!  I feel like a celebrity every time I walk out the door.  Everywhere we go people stare at her saying she is beautiful.  They want to touch her, hold her and ask lots of questions.  Its really amazing – people are always attracted to babies, but I have never experienced this type of attention with any of my other children.  She is charismatic! How great God’s plan for her life must be.

Is the adoption final?

 We just signed “semi-permanent” placement papers today (leave it to the State of California to have a long drawn out process).  The adoption should be final in November and we will have a court date before the years end.  Although it is all just a formality…there is nothing that will stop the adoption from being completed. But it gives us another date to celebrate!

What no one has asked -

Are you going to have any more? or Are you done now?

Wow! How fun is this.  After the birth of every baby since Amy (#2) I have been asked if I was going to have more.  And after the last few people have gotten bolder and just flat out asked us if we were done now. Sometimes this is said with curiosity, often it is said with sarcasm. To which I have always replied either:

• “I hope not”   OR
• “Ask God – we leave the BIG decisions up to Him”

But no one has asked us if we are done or if we will be having and/or adopting another.  So either we have finally reached the tipping point and everyone just thinks we are crazy (so they just don’t ask) or the word is finally out that we trust God with our family size and that we think children are the most amazing blessing in life! But in case you were wondering the answer is:

• We sure hope we are blessed again with another child
• Ask God – we leave the BIG decisions up to Him

My eight amazing blessings! Thank you Lord.

Well dear friends, I’ve missed you ….here’s hoping to be blogging more regularly from here on out.

Gloria Virginia Winslow Borden is a lovely Christian lady with a strong, independent, adventuresome spirit whose positive outlook, faithful heart, solid commitment, strength and encouragement have had an awesome impact on my entire life. She is my mother!

My mother gave me life, love, physical, emotional and spiritual nourishment, a solid family and a warm & wonderful home. She was and is always there for me. She instilled in me values, principles and paradigms that have positively impacted my life and that I hope as a mom to pass on to my own children.  Let me share a few:

• Her Christian faith & values allowed me to see Jesus as my Friend and Savior.  She loved the Lord and along with my father faithfully took us to church every Sunday, had family devotions and centered our home on the Lord. She taught me to follow God’s commandments yet made serving the Lord a celebration of life! I will always remember a note on the refrigerator that said – “Is what you are doing pleasing to God?” My Mom role modeled a life that is seeking to please the Lord.
• Her commitment to marriage and family was unshakable. She was married to my Dad for 35 years before his death. I grew up with the security and stability of knowing that she believed that marriage was forever and that she would never forsake her commitment to my father. She not only spoke these words often but she lived them out daily always being diligent to work at strengthening her marriage. She often told us that the best thing parents can do for their children is to love each other.
• She was a “Stay at home Mom” with a commitment to being there to raise her children.  Even though she had a college degree and a teaching credential she gave up a career to stay at home and be there for her children. (she did go back to work after her children were grown and had a dynamic and succesful 20 year career as a teacher and also earned her Masters Degree along the way – the best of both worlds!) I was blessed to have my Mom at my side for every important moment of my growing up years.
• Her positive attitude and her belief in me was amazing!  I know that my successes and accomplishments in life are a result of my mothers attitude and words.  She began each morning on a positive note saying…”This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it”. She truly looked at the positive side of life. She believed in me and told me on a regular basis that I was smart, talented, creative, beautiful, special, successful and good.  She always shared her belief that I could do anything in life that I set my heart and mind on and that God had created me for a special purpose.
• Her adventuresome spirit is inspiring!  Because of my Mom, I have a zest for living.  She was never one to sit in front of the TV or lay around being “bored” (nor were we allowed to). Mom saw life as something to grab hold of and get the most out of and she taught me to do the same. Even into the 7th decade of her life she is zip lining through the rain forests of Costa Rica, teaching English in Thailand, walking the streets of New York City and cruising to Antarctica…to name a few!
• My mother is classy, cultured and proper lady.  I have learned the importance of RSVPing (something sadly lacking in today’s society), writing thank you notes, dressy properly for the occasion, setting a proper table, speaking correctly, acting like a lady (and being treated like one from a true gentleman), having good manners and avoiding all appearances of evil.  She also brought culture into my life making sure I was exposed to concerts, symphonies, the theater, musicals and museums. My life is richer because of her influence.

Those are just a few ways that she influenced my life. On this special day set aside to honor our mothers I want to say thank you to my Mom.  I am truly thankful for all that she was, is and will continue to be in my life.  I love you Mom!

I finally figured it out!

Yes, after twenty years of motherhood it has finally hit me what the real purpose of the Lamaze classes were, that I took prior to the birth of my first child.  Just in case you have not yet experienced labor & delivery and you think that the purpose of these classes is to help you get through the pain of childbirth by implementing breathing & relaxation techniques, let me set the record straight.

Now, I am sure that there are a precious few who would “swear” by the effectiveness of  these breathing methods – but I am not one of them.  Just a few hours into labor after almost hyperventilating and after being given pitocin which effectively slams you into intense labor instantly, I screamed nastily at my sweet husband — “YOU BREATHE!” , as he was trying to coach me in these techniques. (a few minutes later I spit water in his face – nice, huh?)  I have never taken those classes again but have used various ways to get through my six following labors, including but not limited to – squeezing the living daylights out of my husbands hand, digging my fingernails into his arm, grabbing the nurses by the shirt (truly embarrassing), moaning, groaning, griting my teeeth, writhing and of course my personal favorite – EPIDURALS!

But just this past week it became perfectly clear to me why up & coming Mommies need to learn breathing techniques and it has nothing to do with the birthing process.

It is much more useful for the parenting process that will follow.

This last week I had an opportunity to put those breathing techniques into practice when, in the blink of an eye, our peaceful morning turned into a disaster.  After cooking the kids a delicious breakfast of french toast for a Friday morning treat – we were happily going about our morning routine of chores and school work when…..CRASH!  I looked up and saw that my beautiful 21 month old baby boy had pulled our 19 inch  TV & stand down onto his head. I jumped up from my seat just five feet from where he was lying and immediately began to panic as he started screaming with blood pouring out of his mouth.  My pulse shot through the roof (as I am sure my blood pressure did too), my mind began to race and I tried to make a quick decision as to the best course of action.  Do I call 911? Do I rush him to the ER? What do I do with the little ones here at home?  Do I take them with me? Should I call a friend or rush over to the neighbors and ask them to drive me to the hospital or watch the kids? As my robe became soaked with blood and the sobs of baby boy increased I began to panic and then…..breathe.  My clear minded 13 year old daughter called her Dad and in an instant he was headed home to take us to the hospital.  And during that eternal 15 minute wait….I breathed…. and breathed…. and breathed along with calling on the name of Jesus for help.

After it was all over (and we are praising the Lord that the worst of his injuries were five stitches, several bruises and a lost front tooth – no head injuries, concussion, facial fractures or permanent damage), my ten year old was recounting the story of the morning and sharing how Mommy was breathing really heavy during it all.  That is when it hit me – Lamaze!  That is really what those classes are for – all the crisis times you are sure to have for years after giving birth to a child!

And it is probably a good thing they don’t tell you at that time in life when you are anticipating the birth of your first child,  that you will truly need to learn to “breathe”  as a parent, because you just might have to -

• wave goodbye as they wheel your child down the hall behind closed doors into surgery
• listen to a life threatening or terminal diagnosis for your precious child
• watch your child writhing in pain after an injury or accident
• get a phone call from the hospital informing you that you need to come down right away
• see your star athlete go down for the count and not get up
• hold them in your arms as they cry after a heartbreaking disappointment or defeat
• feel like you are going to go mad with all the bickering, stubbornness or bad behavior you deal with daily
• sit by the clock that is slowly clicking, hours past their curfew and wondering if they are dead or alive
• watch as rebellion, disobedience  or bad judgement bring them tragic  or life altering results
• kiss them goodbye as they leave to fight for their country
• endure being separated from them by distance, disappointment or disagreement
• or God forbid if you lose them to death at any age (we as parents are suppose to go first!)

In fact, I never remember anyone sharing with me that children would bring into my life such intense heartache and pain.   Would I do it all again if I knew the pain and suffering I would have to endure?  Would I do it again even if it turned ugly or tragic?  Would I do it all again even if I lose my child to death?  

• Absolutely!
• Definitely!
• Without a doubt! 
• In a heartbeat!
• No questions asked! 
• Yes!  Yes! Yes!

Why? Because the love, joy and utter fulfillment my children have brought to my life is worth every bit of pain, heartache, dissapointment or suffering I have ,or will in the future , have to endure.  They are worth it all!

I will just have to remember my Lamaze training and my faith….breathe deeply and call on the name of Jesus! (and perhaps get a relaxing massage – I sure could use one after Friday – Whew!)

It’s the first Monday of January and from what I can surmise from the facebook statuses I have been looking over – many mothers are rejoicing that their children are back in school today after a two week break for the Christmas holiday.  The comments are filled with smiley faces and interjections like – yay! yippee! whew! hallelujah!

Oh….the irony of life.

Just minutes after reading some of those statuses, up popped a new comment from a mom lamenting the fact that her two college age kids were heading back to school today.  Later, I noticed several more unhappy faces and sad comments from others about helping kids pack to go back to school, driving to airports and saying goodbye.

Perhaps these comments struck me as funny as I just seem to be at every stage of life all at the same time – with my eldest headed back to college in NYC, two high schoolers who are back to the daily grind this morning and several more home with me easing back into the homeschool routine (very slowly) and an up and coming toddler running all over the house with energy galore! I can completely relate to the melancholiness of having children return for another semester in college. And while I am not at all excited about my kids going back to school today (or my dear darling husband!) – I can see how one might be looking forward to an empty house and time completely to oneself. And for those of you with just pre-schoolers, I know the dichotomy of complete overwhelming exhaustion and joyfulness this age brings us.

Being the analytical and introspective person that I often am, it has all made me stop and think.  What is it about human nature that we are never quite content with where we are and what we have right at the moment? When we have wee ones at home – we can’t wait for them to grow up and go to Kindergarten. (ahhhh….the end to the exhausting 24/7 job)  We look forward with glee to summer vacation only to wish it away in the last few weeks.  We are thrilled to see our kids leave for school after Christmas break only to, on the same occasion a few years later, be saddened to see them head back to school for college.  And though I am not anywhere close to being an empty nester – my guess is that many would trade all their free time & complete independence for more time with children & grandchildren any day!

So today I will choose to be content with what I have right now. 

• Content that my college girl is soon off to New York and that we will stay connected through email, facebook and cell phones.
• Content that my high schoolers are back at school learning, growing, playing and enjoying this fun season of life
• Content that my husband will once again dissapear into  - doing lesson plans, grading papers, counseling young people and loving his life as high school teacher & chaplain
• Content that I have three children here at home to teach and train
• Content that I have a wee one to chase and change… catch and cuddle!
• And yes, even content that my vacation is over too, as I start back to work  from home today at two jobs to make ends meet!

How are you doing at being content today?

“for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am”  Phillipians 4:11

“We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.”

The Preamble to The US Constitution

Having just spent a day in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania…the birthplace of the United States of America, I was inspired all over again by the incredible providential history of our awesome nation, the brilliant leaders who were our founding fathers and the eloquent and influential words that have stood the test of time in our Declaration of Independence and Constitution.

As I stood and took this photo of my husband, Dan and my two eldest daughters Michelle and Amy, I was motivated to write on my blog how important it is for us, as mothers and fathers, to instill patriotism in our children by not only teaching them the history of this great nation but also by motivating and influencing them to be actively involved in this constitutional republic. 

We, the people of this great USA, must not only be involved and active in the government of our cities, counties, states and nation ourselves but we must teach and train our children to be involved as well….if we are to secure the blessings of liberty to our posterity!

I will confess that this comes easy to me, as a product of a military family where things involving the government, politics, citizenship and patriotism were a part of our lives growing up. (Ie: My Mom & Dad did a fabulous job of teaching & training their children!)  It also doesn’t hurt that I am a passionate person and am always 100% involved and intense in the things I believe strongly about. I will also admit that during election years I am a bit “obsessed” with the governmental process and often need to pry myself away from election news. (I recently realized that political talk radio was on in my house and car constantly when my five year old daughter asked last week….”Mommy, Who is Joe the Plummer?” )

But even if you are not as passionate as I happen to be, I still believe that it is important to teach your children to be involved in the process.  Here are a few things that we have done with our family:

1. Praying for our country and our leaders.  This is something everyone can do.  Whether it is around the dining room table during your daily meals or at the foot of the bed before saying goodnight, take some time to pray with your children for Gods blessing on our nation and for His direction for our leaders. We always attend a National Day of Prayer Event in May as well.

2. Talk with your children about our nation’s history, our past and present leaders and the governmental process.  Listen to the news or radio during election season and talk with them about the issues.  Don’t assume your children are too young or not interested….you may just be surprised. 

3. Make it come alive by going on “field trips” to historical places and government offices – there is nothing better to fan the flame of their interest and generate enthusiasm than by actually being there.  If you live on the East Coast – you have it made – with multitudes of places to visit but even those of us in other parts of the country can go to our city hall, state capitol or visit a local government official.

Michelle & Amy in front of the Liberty Bell

4. Teach them patriotic songs like Our National Anthem, God Bless America, She’s a Grand Old Flag, Oh Beautiful, My Country Tis of Thee and one of our family favorities – I’m proud to be an American. Music inspires and uplifts but it also is a great teaching tool.  We remember easily things we sing about. (If you don’t think so – just put on a song you listened to decades ago on your youth & see how easy it is to sing every word!)

5. Get them involved in the election process! These pictures tell the story of how I have had my children be involved.  We take a day or two every election season to help distribute campaign materials.  My eldest daughter even was a volunteer for our local Republican Central Committee Office (as an 11 year old!).  This past June my four eldest girls distributed pro-life election literature to local churches.  And as a senior in high school, Michelle volunteered to work at our local polling place.  There are truly multitudes of ways to be involved in the process that don’t take much time at all.

Joy, Grace & Daniel outside of our local Republican Office

Joy helps pick up some lawn signs & bumper stickers to pass out to our friends one afternoon

6. Take your children to the polls with you when you vote.  We have done this many times over the past two decades.  It is a great way to role model voting to your children as well as have some great discussions as to why it is important to vote. (even if you live in a state that is sure to go to a candidate other than who you are voting for – you should still cast your vote)  I share with them often how men and women have fought and died for the right to vote and that we need to be diligent about expressing our freedom by voting.  This year since we will be in New York on election day….we voted absentee for the first time.  This did not stop me from making voting an “experience” for my children!  Here they are mailing off Dan & my ballots last week.

And after this week in Philly, I was inspired to add another idea to the list –

7. Have them memorize some or all of our countries great documents.  As I read the words once again, I decided to have my homeschool age children memorize the Preamble, sections of the Constitution and Declaration of Independence (High school & College age daughters feel free to join us!) And don’t think for a minute that this is too hard for children to accomplish!  Not at all!  I have been amazed as my girls in past years have memorized entire chapters of the Bible, The Apostles Creed as well as countless scripts for plays they have had a part in simply by reading it over once a day! I can’t wait to get started with them.

Here’s to all of us securing the blessings of liberty to our posterity!

May God Bless America

Happy 16th Birthday my dear Amy Girl!

You’re all ribbons and curls,
Oh, what a girl!
Eyes that twinkle and shine,
You’re sixteen,
You’re beautiful and you’re mine.

How quickly those 16 birthdays come and go –

1st birthday – pretty & pink baby girl

2nd Birthday at the Pumpkin Patch

3rd Birthday – you began your love of horses!

4th Birthday – at Chuck E Cheese

5th birthday – my princess

6th Birthday – the magician came to our backyard

7th birthday – another “dress up” party

8th Birthday – celebrating with Daddy for his 40th – a hoedown!

9th Birthday – the camping birthday (when the squirrels ate part of the cake!)

10th Birthday – Decade Day! (and Mom’s pregnant & feeling sick)

11th Birthday – A trip to Florida & South Carolina with Mommy

12th Birthday – The year of the beach boardwalk birthdays!

13th Birthday – Surprise Party!

14th Birthday – the “Nerts” Party

15th Birthday – the low key freshman girls sleepover

And today —

You’re sixteen,
You’re beautiful and you’re mine.

Yes my dear, sweet, special Amy girl!  I love you.

 ”You (God) will keep in perfect peace 
 him whose mind is stayed on you, 
 because he trusts in you.

Trust in the LORD forever,  for God, the LORD, is the Rock eternal.”

Isaiah 26:3-4

This is a passage from the daily scripture reading I have sent to my email inbox and this morning it could not be any more appropriate and applicable to my current life situation. 

Life is so very unpredictable.  One day we are enjoying a fabulous fall day in gold country and Apple Hill –

and the next day we are in the midst of a fight against a raging MRSA staph infection that is attacking our littlest ones body with vengeance.  Yes life is unpredictable, unstable and fragile….

…..but God is the solid rock on which I can stand.  Not because He promises that life’s circumstances will always be perfect or happy, healthy and prosperous…but because He is unchanging, unshakable and immovable in His love, mercy and goodness towards us. He demonstrated that great love by sending His only Son to sacrifice  his life for us that we might live eternally. This is someone who I can put my trust in completely. If He never did another thing for me (which believe me he has done in abundance for me and my family)…His death on that cross is enough for me to trust Him implicitly and without question.

We have been here before, almost three years ago to the day, my then 2 1/2 year old daughter, Joy was hospitalized as a “treatment failure” for MRSA and it was touch and go for several days.   It was the first time since becoming a mother in 1989 that I was faced with a life threatening situation with one of my children and let me tell you…I had a tough fight with my fears and feelings. I wanted to trust God. I wanted to relinquish my control. I wanted to have “perfect peace”.  HOWEVER, I did not.  I kept looking at the “facts” (do not look up MRSA on the Internet if you want peace).  I kept thinking that there should be something I could “do” about the situation or that my power as a loving Mommy should make everything all better (it could not).  In reality nothing helped until I gave it all over to God, admitted my complete helplessness and agreed to trust Him…no matter what the outcome. (Yes…I said that hard prayer….not my will Lord…but yours!) Then the peace came….like a flood washing over my entire being.  Yes, I was still exhausted from the sleepless nights in the hospital at my baby girls side. Yes, I still prayed desperatly for complete healing. And yes, in my humanity I wanted to just wake up from this bad dream and resume life as normal.  But as I daily trusted the Lord to take control of my life….I was filled with peace and I was standing firm on the solid rock of faith.

As I lay here in bed next to my feverish baby boy whose soft pathetic cries are enough to break a mothers heart…I can honestly say that I have peace. I have peace because I trust that God is in control. (no God is not shocked, taken aback or surprised this morning that my little boy has MRSA) I have peace because God is my rock.

Perhaps someone reading this post today is in need of perfect peace – whether it is a devastating diagnosis, a broken relationship, depression, troubling times, overwhelming circumstances, personal economic crisis or a “life & death” situation – may you keep your mind “stayed” on Him and put your trust not in yourself, not in your doctors or the medical field, not in any other man or woman, not in the government or Wall Street but put your trust in God and stand on the rock!

When darkness seems to hide His face,
I rest on His unchanging grace.
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

How many nights last week did your family sit down at the table and eat dinner together?

Ok, so we have all heard or read the studies - children who sit down and have dinner with their families, at least 5 times a week, are significantly less likely to get involved in drugs, drinking alcohol and smoking.  Studies have also shown that teens who ate with their families report:

• higher grades in school
• stronger friendships
• better relationships with their parents

It has even been said that consistent family dinners are a greater predictor of future success than high SAT scores!

So with these studies screaming the importance of family dinners (not too mention our gut instinct as Moms telling us that daily sharing a meal together as a family is important), why would any of us not be diligent to be sure that we are making family meals happen regularly?  I think that for many it is simply the lack of organization, preparation or time it takes to put a good tasting nutricious meal on the table.  We seem to be all running ourselves at such warp speed that by the time dinner rolls around we are too exhausted or too caught up in the upcoming evening activities to make it happen, so we give into everyone just grabbing whatever they can find and eating on the run or in front of the TV or standing over the kitchen counter.

I solved this problem when I was a young Mom with two small children. I was working part time outside of my home and was involved full time with my husband in ministering to teenagers.  The girls and I would often arrive home right at dinnertime and I found myself  at a loss as to what to make for dinner.  It was at this time in my life that I came across the concept of “Once A Month Cooking”.  I heard a broadcast on Focus on the Family highlighting Mary-Beth Lagerborg and Mimi Wilson who were passionate about families sharing meals together.  The three things that hit me, besides already being sold on the value of sitting down together for a family dinner -

1. I would save time and money (both of which I was short on)
2. I would never again have to figure out what to have for dinner only to succumb to ordering pizza again or making macaroni and cheese
3. I would be able to bless others by always being ready & able to have them join us for dinner or by pulling a meal out of the freezer to give to a family who just had a baby or was in need due to illness, death or financial crisis. 

That one radio broadcast ultimately changed my life!  From that point in the early 1990’s to this very day I have used the concept of “Once a Month Cooking” (with the exception of several years when we were beginning Jim Elliot Christian High School and relied on the generosity of others and the Lord’s provision for our meals), added my own tweaking and variations and we have enjoyed the benefits of having relatively stress free, no decision making dinners on our table each and every night.

I start by writing out what I want to eat that month – since October usually begins our cooler weather and after long hot summers we are ready for those cool crisp evenings – I always make this month’s menu full of our favorite soups, stews and other warm fall comfort foods. Several of these are in the “Once a Month Cooking” Cookbook  and others are our family fall favorites -

• Split Pea Soup
• Chili & Cornbread
• French Stew
• Colonial Cheddar Cheese Soup
• Ravioli Soup
• Taco Soup
• Corn Chowder
• White Chicken Chili
• Potato Soup

 I add to that some Lambdin money saving staple meals – beans & rice, spaghetti, sloppy joes, chicken casseroles etc.. Then I make my shopping list and head out to purchase everything I need to make all these meals. My kitchen looks like this when I return from shopping -

 l

It usually takes me about 6 to 7 hours to prepare, cook and put the meals in freezer containers, if I have no help.  In the early years, we had a wonderful roommate (Hi Carleen!) who would help me power this out much faster and now when I can get my teenagers to take a study break they will assist me. (sometimes if life is really full, I may even split the preparation into two days)The dishes at the end are horrendous (especially since our dishwasher broke 6 months ago and we do it all by hand) but I remind whomever has kitchen duty chore that it is well worth it in the end!

Everything is labeled with directions taped on the front and put into the freezer – who would have ever thought that a freezer full of a months worth of meals could bring such fulfillment and joy? (and of course my girls do not get what the big thrill this picture brings me or why I would even take it - something years and becoming a mother will cure.)

I then tape up a calendar on the fridge listing what meal is to be served each day, along with any side dishes and who is “in charge” of getting it all on the table (All the girls ages 9 and older help out as well as Dan).  I always leave the last week empty as it is inevitable that plans change or we end up having a “left overs” night along the way – so we just move the unused meal from that day down to the last week.

After that all I have to do is check what meals we are having for the coming week on Monday morning - do a quick store run for perishables like bread, lettuce, fresh vegetables and milk  – and we are set!

Here is the book that inspired my life long habit of meal planning for a month and taught me how to plan, shop & cook for a month in a single day -

But don’t be intimidated by the entire month part – if that sounds to overwhelming – how about two weeks or even one?  If it is all still too much or you do not want to think about masking a list, shopping and all that prep/clean up time – here is the perfect solution! Companies like “Dinners My Way”(my friend Cres Bruns owns the local franchise) and “Dream Dinners”.   are all set up to provide this service. You simply pay for the number of meals you want to make, sign up for a couple hour session and then they provide all the ingredients (already all chopped up, grated, cooked etc….). You make a mess of their kitchen and walk away with meals ready to put in your freezer. The prices are very reasonable and it is super easy. Plus you could go with a friend and even have more fun!

Of course I guess if money was not a consideration, you could hire a private chef to ensure meals served hot on your table every night….now wouldn’t that be awesome?

But whatever you do – begin today to come up with a plan to ensure that you get your family to sit down most days of the week to a wonderful dinner together.  I’m off to enjoy some Ravioli Soup around the candlelit dinner table surrounded by lively conversation and laughter.

I can’t stand that headline!

After posting some photos on my facebook account of my baby boy – I realized how much he really did need a haircut. With his bangs hanging down into his eyes (do you call them bangs on boys?) , his hair flowing down well over his ears and the wisps of blond flying all around his head making him look quite wild – it was probably past time for him to get his hair cut.

With girls you can hold off on this “Rite of Passage” for several years thus convincing yourself that your little one is really still a tiny baby. Something changes in their “look” after that first haircut.  It is like instant aging.  They go from a baby to a child overnight. <sigh>

Since this is definitely something that needed to be done with Daddy, I knew I was running out of Saturdays to pull this off before it got so long that everyone was calling him a girl! I was determined to find a “real” barber shop (complete with a barber pole) for his first haircut although after calling around to several, I quickly found out that many of them did not attempt to cut the hair of a 17 month old.  Finally we hit the jackpot when we dialed the number to “The Village Barber” in Lincoln Center, one of the oldest and poshest shopping areas in our city. They exclaimed to us “Of course – we do anyone 0 to 100!”  We jumped in the car and headed over to the barber shop…to be thrilled to find it had a barber pole!

They had Daddy sit down in the chair and put Daniel on his lap for the haircut.  It was precious!  I snapped photos fast and furiously only stopping occasionally to admire my two favorite guys and take in the moment.

The football game on the big screen got both these boys attention!

 Isn’t this so very precious?

I love Daniel’s concentration on his Daddy

The “barber” Tina (who is apparently the only female on staff and always gets assigned the little ones) did a great job with a moving target.  To top things off, we even got a certificate at the end to put in the scrapbook along with the precious lock of blond hair.  The only problem is that the certificate said that he was officially “graduating from babyhood”.

I am only all to well aware, that these precious years will be over in a blink of an eye and I will be looking up at my handsome blond haired ”baby boy” as he “graduates to manhood”. I will savor each moment

We will most definitely be coming back to this shop as our first boy’s hair cut tradition. We had originally hoped to go the the Barber Shop in Red Bluff where Dan got his first haircut…but unfortunately it was no longer in business.  Hopefully the Lord will bless us with at least one more baby boy to carry on the first haircut tradition and then perhaps the boys will someday take their boys to this classic shop as well. Wouldn’t that be great?  Since this shop has already been in business for 53 years, I am sure that this is a real possibility.

Here is the final results of the baby who became a little boy!

Thankfully this morning I caught a glimpse of my sweet little “baby” boy as he lay sleeping in my bed – and remembered the words from the beloved book – Love You Forever

I’ll love you forever,

I’ll like you for always,

As long as I’m living,

My baby you’ll be.

We had a “milestone” birthday in our home this past week as my fourth daughter, Rebekah turned thirteen.

It is official!  We now have four teenage girls in our family…at the same time.

 When Rebekah was born her three older sisters were 18 months(Kristen), 3 years(Amy) and 6 years old (Michelle).

I remember many times during their childhood well meaning friends, acquaintances and even strangers would make comments about how dreadful, hard or horrible I would have it when they were all teenagers.  Most of the time I would just smile (ok, so maybe smile/smirk is more accurate) or politely laugh at their “doom & gloom” comments,  however occasionally I would proclaim with confidence my true sentiments - “Oh I can’t wait….I love teenagers!”

And it is true – I have loved teenagers my entire adult life.  I love their enthusiasm, idealism, passion, boundless energy(as well as their ability to sleep for hours on end), hope, faith, spontanaity, reckless abandon, independence and strength to name a few of the qualities of youth that I find very appealing.  But the never ending onslaught of negative comments did leave me wondering if I was headed for disaster down the road when I actually had teenagers living in my home.

Why is it that we live in a society that seems to have such a disdain for the teen years?  Why do so many parents look at these years as something to fear or dread rather than welcoming them with hope and excitement?  Once a child reaches thirteen they only have five or six years left in our homes…why then would we spend those years arguing, fighting or wishing away our short time together?

Or is it even true that parents do not enjoy their teenagers or is it just another one of those “parroting” issues where everyone feels they have to say disdainful things about teenagers because that is what everyone else is saying. (Even just yesterday, a poplular radio host that I listen to regularly responded with “I’m sorry” when the caller mentioned she had a teenager.  Of course it got a laugh – but I cringed inside as comments like this seem to add to the negative sentiments surrounding being a parent of teenagers.)

Most likely it is a combination of “parroting” as well as parents truly struggling with unappraciative, disrespectful, self centered teenagers who show them very little love. (that type of teenager doesn’t sound like much fun to me either)

Now if I merely had one teenager, I would never venture to give any advice, opinions, insights, ideas or even hints as to how to enjoy the teenage years but since I have four who run the gamut of personalities and dispositions (although at this point I don’t have any male teenagers – you’ll have to wait at least 15+ years for my “take” on that – although perhaps my dear friends Teri Helms, Christy Keyton or Ladonna Colton can “guest blog” on teenage boys) and because we are truly enjoying our teenagers, I will throw out my opinions for anyone who might be interested.

First let me say…that if you want to enjoy the teenage years…it starts way before they turn thirteen.  In fact, it begins with getting a good grip on your thirteen month old when they first start challenging your authority by directly doing what you just said “no” to them doing.  If you lose the battle of the wills with a toddler, you are sure to lose the war with a teenager.  Be strong and always, always, always win!

It also takes developing a solid, loving relationship with your child during those early years by spending tons of time with them (both quantity & quality), eating the vast majority of your dinners together as a family - at the dining room table (candlelight & music is a bonus!), enjoying lots of cuddling time together on the couch in the evenings or under the covers in the morning reading books, watching movies or just sharing life stories, worshipping together as a family, talking, talking and talking with them and being diligent to create meaningful memories on a regular basis.

In addition, I believe that besides ”winning the battle of the wills” and developing a solid loving relationship that you need to indoctrinate them for many years before they come close to teenagedom as to the “rules” and boundaries in your household.  Here are some examples of ours -

1. We (Mom & Dad) can make your life miserable or wonderful – the choice is yours!  We highly recommend you choose wonderful but if you choose miserable we will follow through.

2. You are not the center of the universe or for that matter, the center of this family either.  It is NOT all about you….don’t forget this (of course it helps to realize this when you live in a family of nine)

3. It is “My way….or the highway”  Yes,that is correct if our teenager does not comply with our rules or chooses to live a life of continued disrespect or direct defiance, they will no longer have the option and privilege of living under our roof.  As hard as this would be to carry out, my children know that we would follow through.

4. No whining allowed!  We have more than most people in the world – a roof over our heads (no matter how much you think that roof should be bigger), food on our plates (even if it is beans & rice several times a week), clothes on our backs (in abundance – thanks to hand me downs!) and a loving, committed “in tact” family. What is there to complain about? Nothing!

5. No, you can’t have…

• your own cell phone (we have a common “the girls” phone)
• a myspace or facebook account until college (if you have that much free time – have I got a job for you! However, you can have a blog – feel free to write, write, write!)
• your own car (nope you can’t even buy your own until after high school and no one else gets to buy one for you either) – you may use one of our cars as needed and with permission
• a TV in your room (in fact you can’t even watch TV except on a very rare occasion)
• your own room (and this is not just a logistical rule – it is our paradigm – no one needs their own room – even if we had eight bedrooms – there would be at least two to a room until the last child is here alone.)

6. You also can’t…

• spend the night, go to parties or on out of town trips with families who we do not know intimately.
• call, write or text boys (and yes when I have teenage boys they will not call, write or text girls in jr or sr high either - after that they can ask the young ladies father for permission to call, write or text)
• date or “go out” in junior high or high school (including all definitions of the word – from casual going out for coffee with a member of the opposite sex to “committed” boyfriend/girlfriend relationships)
• get body piercings, tattoos or any extreme hair coloring or styles
• wear any immodest, inappropriate or culturally reactionary clothing (and the Mom gets to decide if something is ok) and a bonus – you get to wear dresses (and my sons will wear dress shirts & ties) to church, weddings, funerals, graduations or other significant events
• go to movies that have not been approved by Mom & Dad (or our own resident movie censor – Michelle) – you can’t always go by ratings – I have seen outstanding movies rated PG13 and lousy crass movies rated PG
• be lazy and not do your school work or not do it to the best of your ability
• be disrespectful or rude to teachers, authority figures or any adults (even if they are wrong or rude – you will respect their position)
• get away with not doing your household chores
• ok and in case it is not obvious the “basics” are “you cant’s” too -  can’t do drugs, drink, smoke, break curfew, lie, cheat, steal etc….

7. You can….(ok, with all those “cant’s”  there does need to be a few perks – listed here are some things that other teens may not have the privilege of doing)

• stay up as late as you want – it is simply your responsibility to get up in the morning
• sleep in late on Saturday mornings as long as you are consistent each week with your chores
• invite friends over most anytime – for dinner to spend the night, hang out, go on outings with us etc…
• go on exciting trips and adventures anywhere in the world as long as you cover the costs and you are going/staying with an “approved” party
• keep your room a mess (up until the point that Mom can’t walk in the room or it starts to smell)
• wear “light” make up when you start high school & get your ears pierced when you turn 16 (gotta have something to look forward to! lol)
• drink coffee
• eat left over pie, cake or cookies for breakfast
• listen to music as loud as you want (most of the time) providing it is Christian or on Mom’s list of “approved” show/movie tunes
• skip school to do fun and exciting things like – going to the beach, apple hill or snow days, getting Dr Laura’s signature, attending the inauguration, going to New York for your 16th birthday
• be as mad as you want at Mom or Dad…go to your room and shout in your pillow that you hate us and turn up your music (see above for restrictions) - just don’t slam a door, hit or throw anything or be disrespectful to our faces (have at it in your room or other space where we are not)

8. Glorify God in everything you say and do…ultimately you will answer to Him

Did I cover them all girls? 

Following these basic philosophies have resulted in six wonderful years of having teenagers in our home.  Michelle, Amy, Kristen & Rebekah, though each unique in their talents, gifts, abilities as well as having diverse personalities – they are all good, godly, respectful, mature, responsible, delightful and lovely young ladies, who happen to be teens!  They are truly a blessing to us and we have and will continue to enjoy the teenage years. (It’s a good thing since I have at least 18 more years of having one or more teenagers at home)

Happy Birthday Rebekah!